My Religious History and Testimony
Sept 15, 2017 12:44:22 GMT -6
watchmanjim, whatif, and 2 more like this
Post by jlr1701 on Sept 15, 2017 12:44:22 GMT -6
Hi everyone,
This post is likely to be lengthy, so please bear with me. I want to share 30 years or so of my life with you, so this might take a minute or two...
My name is Jeff Reid, and I was born and raised in Lake Jackson, TX. At the moment, I am almost 52 years old, but I am expecting to celebrate my next birthday in Heaven since it is on November 30th, and I personally believe we'll all be gone from here by then. I was raised United Methodist, but I stopped attending church at the age of 10 because I told my parents that I didn't agree with what was being taught, and they gave me permission to stop going. I can't remember the reason why now, but I returned to the Church briefly in my early teens for the Confirmation process. And then... I didn't think much about religious belief until we moved across town when I was 14 and I met my new fundamentalist Christian neighbors. Bob and Roxanne and I had many interesting discussions about religious issues and I even attended church with them a few times, but for whatever reason, religious belief just didn't "take" at the time. For a few years, I again didn't give religious issues much thought. And then... I met my friend Mike in a drama class at college when I was 19 years old. At the time, I was a deeply troubled teenage party animal. I was drinking very heavily and smoking a tremendous amount of pot. If I was awake, I was either drunk or stoned or both. Mike started talking to me about his faith in Jesus, and my initial response was to tell him to get away from me with that Jesus sh*t! But Mike kept at it and never gave up. He made sure that I had food when I was hungry and he gave me his winter coat when I needed it. Mike consistently lived his faith in front of me, and he finally got me out to his car to read some Scripture. When we read Hebrews 4:12, I felt something come alive inside of me, and I thought, "Maybe there is something to this Jesus stuff!" That day I prayed to receive Jesus as my Savior. Mike was ecstatic and I was pretty happy too! Very soon after that, I attended a showing of "The Jesus Film" that was sponsored by a local Baptist church. By the time the film was over, I knew that I wanted what this Jesus had to offer, and I prayed once again to receive Christ just to be sure it was a done deal! And so began my Christian journey. My transformation from teenage party animal to sold out to Jesus Christian believer was rapid and dramatic! And it wasn't long before I found myself headed off to a Christian school. I attended East Texas Baptist University in Marshall, TX from 1985 to 1986. Unfortunately, we did not realize at the time that I was mentally ill with bipolar disorder, and trouble that would last for years began. I had doubts already about my Christian faith, and of course the Internet didn't exist yet, and nobody I talked to had answers that satisfied me. And the bipolar mood swings had me engaging in a tremendous amount of religious activity when I was manic and struggling to believe any of it at all when I was depressed. And bipolar depression usually led to bouts of severe substance abuse. It's a long story, but I was suspended from ETBU in 1986. It was officially an academic suspension, but they were very unhappy with me anyway because of my drinking and drug use on their campus. I went back home to Lake Jackson and soon entered an inpatient alcohol treatment unit at the local hospital. We knew at that time that I had serious substance abuse issues, but the mental illness still had not been diagnosed. The treatment worked temporarily, but the struggles I had with my mental health continued. But I did find faith again. I found a very fun church in Brazoria called the Church on the Rock. I made many good friends there, and I often sang solos, and for a while I participated in the praise and worship band. But I still struggled to have faith when bouts of depression hit, and I was in and out of church. My friends just accepted me as I was and they always welcomed me back. The same pattern continued at another church in the early 1990's. By the time 2000 came around, I was struggling with doubts and questions about my faith that I could no longer ignore. So, I got on the Net as it was back then and started searching for answers. I found infidels.org and began to get an education from the atheists. Another site, therejectionofpascalswager.net continued my skeptical education. There were other sites involved, but by the time I finished with those two sites, I had given up my belief in God and I had become convinced that the Bible was little more than ancient myths and fairy tales. I became VERY ANGRY that I had given 15 years of my life to this mythological NONSENSE! And, in 2002, I decided to jump into the fray with my own atheist website. At the time, my goal was to build the largest, most comprehensive atheist website on the Net. I HATED Christianity, and I wanted to stamp it out of existence! I spent the next two years spewing hatred and vitriol at God and Jesus, and I wasn't very nice to Christians either. In fact, I regularly characterized them as slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging morons! And I blasted God with all sorts of attacks against His character, all of which I thought I could back up with Scripture. I called Him a mass murderer. I called Him a monster far more evil than Hitler. And the anger and the rage and the attacks on God and His Word went on for two years. I shut that site down in August of 2004, not because I had any regrets about what I had to say about God or Jesus, but because I felt bad about how I was portraying Christians.
But it wasn't long before I realized that I wanted to continue my outspoken and very angry atheism. I created another site and continued on just as I had before, but as things turned out, I was never able to come close to enjoying the popularity I had with my first site. I continued on for several years with various sites, always angry and always mocking the beliefs I had once held sacred. And then... late last year, God got my attention again. He totally delivered me from the anger and rage I had had festering inside of me for YEARS! I didn't expect this to happen and I didn't ask for it. But I had no doubts that God had accomplished it. What other explanation could there be? But, even so, I spent several months swinging between some form of religious belief and atheism. And then... I found this wonderful site! God opened my blind eyes so that I could see clearly for the first time in many years. And the more I read and the more I considered all of the evidence presented here, I realized that I had made a terrible mistake walking away from my faith all those years ago. I realized that it wasn't the Christian church that had deceived me, it was the atheists whose goal it was to lead me away from faith in Jesus Christ who had deceived me! I had totally given up on God, but He never gave up on me. I spent so many years spewing so much anger and so much hatred at Him. Yet He brought me back to faith and welcomed me with open arms. I can't think about that reality without tears in my eyes.
I would have to write a book to share everything that has happened to me over the course of 30 years, but those are the highlights. Gary, and everyone else here working on this site, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of this stuff. I'm still wondering if it's all really for real. I believed for so long that God was just an ancient myth and that life was essentially meaningless and that death meant permanent nonexistence. And now... the awareness that things may not be nearly as bleak and hopeless as I once thought. Will we all really be in Heaven with Jesus Christ sometime very soon? I'd love to think so... it still blows my mind and doesn't feel real... yet, rationally, I have to go where the evidence leads whether my mind can accept it yet or not. Heaven is actually REAL and I may be there very soon? WOW...
This post is likely to be lengthy, so please bear with me. I want to share 30 years or so of my life with you, so this might take a minute or two...
My name is Jeff Reid, and I was born and raised in Lake Jackson, TX. At the moment, I am almost 52 years old, but I am expecting to celebrate my next birthday in Heaven since it is on November 30th, and I personally believe we'll all be gone from here by then. I was raised United Methodist, but I stopped attending church at the age of 10 because I told my parents that I didn't agree with what was being taught, and they gave me permission to stop going. I can't remember the reason why now, but I returned to the Church briefly in my early teens for the Confirmation process. And then... I didn't think much about religious belief until we moved across town when I was 14 and I met my new fundamentalist Christian neighbors. Bob and Roxanne and I had many interesting discussions about religious issues and I even attended church with them a few times, but for whatever reason, religious belief just didn't "take" at the time. For a few years, I again didn't give religious issues much thought. And then... I met my friend Mike in a drama class at college when I was 19 years old. At the time, I was a deeply troubled teenage party animal. I was drinking very heavily and smoking a tremendous amount of pot. If I was awake, I was either drunk or stoned or both. Mike started talking to me about his faith in Jesus, and my initial response was to tell him to get away from me with that Jesus sh*t! But Mike kept at it and never gave up. He made sure that I had food when I was hungry and he gave me his winter coat when I needed it. Mike consistently lived his faith in front of me, and he finally got me out to his car to read some Scripture. When we read Hebrews 4:12, I felt something come alive inside of me, and I thought, "Maybe there is something to this Jesus stuff!" That day I prayed to receive Jesus as my Savior. Mike was ecstatic and I was pretty happy too! Very soon after that, I attended a showing of "The Jesus Film" that was sponsored by a local Baptist church. By the time the film was over, I knew that I wanted what this Jesus had to offer, and I prayed once again to receive Christ just to be sure it was a done deal! And so began my Christian journey. My transformation from teenage party animal to sold out to Jesus Christian believer was rapid and dramatic! And it wasn't long before I found myself headed off to a Christian school. I attended East Texas Baptist University in Marshall, TX from 1985 to 1986. Unfortunately, we did not realize at the time that I was mentally ill with bipolar disorder, and trouble that would last for years began. I had doubts already about my Christian faith, and of course the Internet didn't exist yet, and nobody I talked to had answers that satisfied me. And the bipolar mood swings had me engaging in a tremendous amount of religious activity when I was manic and struggling to believe any of it at all when I was depressed. And bipolar depression usually led to bouts of severe substance abuse. It's a long story, but I was suspended from ETBU in 1986. It was officially an academic suspension, but they were very unhappy with me anyway because of my drinking and drug use on their campus. I went back home to Lake Jackson and soon entered an inpatient alcohol treatment unit at the local hospital. We knew at that time that I had serious substance abuse issues, but the mental illness still had not been diagnosed. The treatment worked temporarily, but the struggles I had with my mental health continued. But I did find faith again. I found a very fun church in Brazoria called the Church on the Rock. I made many good friends there, and I often sang solos, and for a while I participated in the praise and worship band. But I still struggled to have faith when bouts of depression hit, and I was in and out of church. My friends just accepted me as I was and they always welcomed me back. The same pattern continued at another church in the early 1990's. By the time 2000 came around, I was struggling with doubts and questions about my faith that I could no longer ignore. So, I got on the Net as it was back then and started searching for answers. I found infidels.org and began to get an education from the atheists. Another site, therejectionofpascalswager.net continued my skeptical education. There were other sites involved, but by the time I finished with those two sites, I had given up my belief in God and I had become convinced that the Bible was little more than ancient myths and fairy tales. I became VERY ANGRY that I had given 15 years of my life to this mythological NONSENSE! And, in 2002, I decided to jump into the fray with my own atheist website. At the time, my goal was to build the largest, most comprehensive atheist website on the Net. I HATED Christianity, and I wanted to stamp it out of existence! I spent the next two years spewing hatred and vitriol at God and Jesus, and I wasn't very nice to Christians either. In fact, I regularly characterized them as slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging morons! And I blasted God with all sorts of attacks against His character, all of which I thought I could back up with Scripture. I called Him a mass murderer. I called Him a monster far more evil than Hitler. And the anger and the rage and the attacks on God and His Word went on for two years. I shut that site down in August of 2004, not because I had any regrets about what I had to say about God or Jesus, but because I felt bad about how I was portraying Christians.
But it wasn't long before I realized that I wanted to continue my outspoken and very angry atheism. I created another site and continued on just as I had before, but as things turned out, I was never able to come close to enjoying the popularity I had with my first site. I continued on for several years with various sites, always angry and always mocking the beliefs I had once held sacred. And then... late last year, God got my attention again. He totally delivered me from the anger and rage I had had festering inside of me for YEARS! I didn't expect this to happen and I didn't ask for it. But I had no doubts that God had accomplished it. What other explanation could there be? But, even so, I spent several months swinging between some form of religious belief and atheism. And then... I found this wonderful site! God opened my blind eyes so that I could see clearly for the first time in many years. And the more I read and the more I considered all of the evidence presented here, I realized that I had made a terrible mistake walking away from my faith all those years ago. I realized that it wasn't the Christian church that had deceived me, it was the atheists whose goal it was to lead me away from faith in Jesus Christ who had deceived me! I had totally given up on God, but He never gave up on me. I spent so many years spewing so much anger and so much hatred at Him. Yet He brought me back to faith and welcomed me with open arms. I can't think about that reality without tears in my eyes.
I would have to write a book to share everything that has happened to me over the course of 30 years, but those are the highlights. Gary, and everyone else here working on this site, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of this stuff. I'm still wondering if it's all really for real. I believed for so long that God was just an ancient myth and that life was essentially meaningless and that death meant permanent nonexistence. And now... the awareness that things may not be nearly as bleak and hopeless as I once thought. Will we all really be in Heaven with Jesus Christ sometime very soon? I'd love to think so... it still blows my mind and doesn't feel real... yet, rationally, I have to go where the evidence leads whether my mind can accept it yet or not. Heaven is actually REAL and I may be there very soon? WOW...